You Get Me?

I don't know what to say,
Or to do with my day.
There's a life,
I'm sure I should be living.
That should is a could,
And I would,
But I wont,
'Cos I don't,
Just ever quite start it.
No excuse,
Trembles on,
The tip of my tongue.
If it's found,
I'll burn it to ashes.
Can't mitigate the pain.
Won't camouflage the blame.
I need drive,
I'm not striving to find it.
Always looking to my krew,
Finding comfort,
Nothing new.
Reassurance is,
Not what I needed.
But it's me in the frame,
Now I show,
What I know,
That I'm lame,
For looking outside it.
The prisoner with a key,
For a lock,
He can't see.
Who feels with his soul,
It won't open.
But the key isn't real,
And the lock's in my mind.
I just have to walk through the door.
My travelling cage,
Parties for days,
And to not look outside,
Is so easy.