A Silly Mushroom

As we prepare once more to throw ourselves willfully into a cosmic realm we scarcely understand, I find myself excited, apprehensive and apathetic simultaneously and equally. The Prof just wants to take a bath.

See the bee
Seen the bean
Saw the bomb
And all between
Tick tick tick boom
Silly little man with
A silly mushroom
Come along

Wow. Hello world. Stars and lights and bells invisible, rainbows and tremors and jolts and you can see everything all at once and not understand any of it and it's wonderful. Sometimes it controls me, and sometimes I'm controlling it. Mushroom's are an incredibly frustrating place to be, because it's inspirational - but impossible to work. All these emotions, and opinions and ideas are trying to grab your attention, and all you can say is "Thank you - it's all wonderful". Indecisivity saves you. Mushrooms make you feel closer to god. Because God is everything. This experience resents me writing, because words are permanant, wheras this feeling demands that I live for the moment. Plus, it's physically difficult to write because the letters are dissolving on the page, and my hand holding the pen looks skeletally thin. But I persevere. I persevere. Because I must. Abandon perspective. Adandon assumptions. Just be. Drugs make your heart race. They do this to the body. They do that. People say, what do you do on mushrooms? Do? Do? You think and you feel. More intensely than you normally every would. And it's everything. Every dream. Every aspiration. it's the shape of the plan and, and, AND! No vision, no visuals can encompass it because it's everything. it's a love of life, and of beauty, and any attempt made to express itself. But it's love. Mushroom's make you feel life you understand everythin and everyone. Mushrooms fill your spirit with love. I'm saying 'mushrooms' again and again as if they were the key, and they're not. Mushrooms hurt, and they churn and the world falls apart every five minutes and you have to rebuild it again and again. Right now I understand what it is to be alive. Right now I understand what it is to love. And it hurts to write this because I'm giving up the moment to record the moment. But that's OK. Because I know that this feeling will pass soon, and the idea saddens me. But I'm looking forward to it. This seeing everything from every angle at once. This understanding and appreciating and loving and being constantly amazed by the beauty. This had to end, and one part of me know that - when the drug wear off, when I eventually sleep. It has to stop at some point, and because at heart I do not want that I am distracted. Look at this. Look at that. Thinka bout this or that. Everything. Too much to choose between. And I look back at what I've written and see LOVE and HURTS. The spirit wants to do nothing, say nothing, just love. The body needs to eat and sleep and exercise. The mind tried to mediate between the two and gets very confused. Now I am assuming. Analyzing. Explaining. And I don't like it. It feels wrong. Judgemental. I wanted to preserve the feeling. Eternally, I believe it's possible to observe and participate at the same time. You pick up the pen once to record a thought you don't want to loose, and you get lost in the pen. You can't see the world as a series... ??? Arms are going dead while I write. We all have two arms. Who died? Confused. We're all beautiful fucked up creatures. We all want to feel. And love. And understand. The philosopher king is overwhelmed and can't write. And I know to some we'd be fucked up druggies, but we're not, we're nice. The Prof is downstairs somewhere, playing the most beautiful classical music. And it's hillarious. And it's typical. I think I mentioned it's overwhelming - didn't I? I wish Firefly were here, I'd like a cuddle, but she wouldn't understand me, but that's OK - that's fine, I'd laugh and smile. With mushrooms... and that's the good side. But then your muscles crawl and you curl up into a ball and shake. And you can't feel the love that was so strong five seconds ago. And The Prof kicks the dance music donwstairs and you realise it's all OK. This is life. I think I'll go talk to him.